The Sunflower
On the Possibilities and Limits of Forgiveness
By
Simon Wiesenthal
My response to his question - What would you have done?
On the Possibilities and Limits of Forgiveness
By
Simon Wiesenthal
My response to his question - What would you have done?
God’s power to forgive is limitless. Our own ability to forgive is strengthened by our ability to call upon God for His help in our own efforts to offer forgiveness. Forgiveness does not happen in an instant. Before we can forgive, we must have the desire to forgive.
When Simon Wiesenthal was brought before the dying SS soldier, Karl, Karl told him his story, confessed his crimes, and asked for forgiveness. Wiesenthal had no time to assimilate and respond to this enormous plea. The desire to forgive had no chance to bloom with Wiesenthal. His Jewish theology and the circumstances he found himself in, would not allow for it.
From the moment of his encounter with Karl, Karl’s plea for forgiveness became one of the singular events of his life. He was not able to offer forgiveness to Karl before he died but he was so deeply effected that for the rest of his life he asked others, “What would you have done”? Had he not been so deeply moved, I would not be here, over 60 years later, writing my own thoughts and trying to answer the question that haunted Wiesental for the rest of his life. We also would not have had the collective thoughts from generations of readers of his book, The Sunflower, thoughts from classrooms, discussion groups, private reflections and the published responses found in the book along with Simon’s story.
Why is this question so important? The short answer would be simply that forgiveness is freeing for both the giver and the receiver. To forgive frees us from vengeance, bitterness, the sense that we are victims; all feelings that can only corrode the soul.
Forgiveness and reconciliation are welded together in Christian thought. God is all forgiving and merciful and we are called to be as He is. However, to forgive does not mean to be reconciled. Reconciliation is a restoration of the relationship between the victim and the victimizer. Reconciliation suggests that there is a change in the behavior of the victimizer. If there is no change, there can be no reconciliation. So, we can forgive but not be reconciled.
By going through the process of forgiving, we are freed from evil’s power over us. Thus, with forgiveness offered, we are able to go forward in our lives. The lessons of evil have the power to teach the world that there is a better way. Forgiveness becomes a tool of God’s hand that takes evil and makes it an instrument of good. St. Augustine wrote, “God judged it better to bring good out of evil than to allow no evil to exist.”
We have many modern day examples of the power of forgiveness becoming a tool for good. Mary Karen Read is one of the 32 victims of the Virginia Tech massacre in 2007. After her death, at age 18, notes on forgiveness were found in her private journal. Two months before her death, she wrote, “When a deep injury is done to us, we never recover until we forgive.”
Remarkably, this was just one of a series of quotes on forgiveness that Mary had been collecting since her mid-teens. The notebook, now used by Mary's father to help others, shows most profoundly the healing and comfort that can be found in forgiveness. It has become God’s tool for bringing good out of evil and showing the way out of pain and sadness.
From the moment of his encounter with Karl, Karl’s plea for forgiveness became one of the singular events of his life. He was not able to offer forgiveness to Karl before he died but he was so deeply effected that for the rest of his life he asked others, “What would you have done”? Had he not been so deeply moved, I would not be here, over 60 years later, writing my own thoughts and trying to answer the question that haunted Wiesental for the rest of his life. We also would not have had the collective thoughts from generations of readers of his book, The Sunflower, thoughts from classrooms, discussion groups, private reflections and the published responses found in the book along with Simon’s story.
Why is this question so important? The short answer would be simply that forgiveness is freeing for both the giver and the receiver. To forgive frees us from vengeance, bitterness, the sense that we are victims; all feelings that can only corrode the soul.
Forgiveness and reconciliation are welded together in Christian thought. God is all forgiving and merciful and we are called to be as He is. However, to forgive does not mean to be reconciled. Reconciliation is a restoration of the relationship between the victim and the victimizer. Reconciliation suggests that there is a change in the behavior of the victimizer. If there is no change, there can be no reconciliation. So, we can forgive but not be reconciled.
By going through the process of forgiving, we are freed from evil’s power over us. Thus, with forgiveness offered, we are able to go forward in our lives. The lessons of evil have the power to teach the world that there is a better way. Forgiveness becomes a tool of God’s hand that takes evil and makes it an instrument of good. St. Augustine wrote, “God judged it better to bring good out of evil than to allow no evil to exist.”
We have many modern day examples of the power of forgiveness becoming a tool for good. Mary Karen Read is one of the 32 victims of the Virginia Tech massacre in 2007. After her death, at age 18, notes on forgiveness were found in her private journal. Two months before her death, she wrote, “When a deep injury is done to us, we never recover until we forgive.”
Remarkably, this was just one of a series of quotes on forgiveness that Mary had been collecting since her mid-teens. The notebook, now used by Mary's father to help others, shows most profoundly the healing and comfort that can be found in forgiveness. It has become God’s tool for bringing good out of evil and showing the way out of pain and sadness.
Holocaust survivors remind us that if you have not been through it, you cannot understand the depth of the pain. Mary’s family echoes this same feeling. On a very small scale that can in no way be equated with Wiesenthal’s experience or the Read family’s loss, I found myself being called for years to forgive an individual who was instrumental in causing great havoc and wreckage in my life.
Until I could forgive, I could not free myself of the fears and insecurities that had settled around my heart and mind. But with forgiveness came the sensation of shedding the anger, hurt, bitterness and fear that was physically felt as it flow from my body through my fingertips and feet. The power of those past evil acts literally flowed out of me leaving a cleansed space from which I could start again and grow in personal strength. Forgiveness became not only a spiritual and mental experience, but also a physical experience.
Wiesenthal may not have given Karl what he was asking for but through thought and action, I believe that he was clearly moved in the direction of forgiveness. There simply was not enough time for Karl to show by his actions that he was truly remorseful and changed. But in those shared hours, Simon and Karl became God’s tool for good to emerge from great evil.
And what of Karl’s plea for forgiveness? Simon, by hearing his plea, was led on a lifelong quest regarding God’s expectations of us. Karl, as an instrument of evil, was given a penance commensurate with his crime. He suffered tremendously. His suffering was not just physical. He suffered in conscience. He suffered the loss of the one thing that would have given him comfort and consolation: the nearness of his beloved mother.
But even here I see the hand of God at work. By not having the comfort of his mother, he was left truly alone with his thoughts. We cannot judge the quality and value of Karl’s remorse. We can only know that by his punishment he was led to reflect on his actions, arrive at deep remorse and then beg for forgiveness.
The object of his quest , a Jew, should not be judged either. He had nothing else to lose. His life was at an end. His confession and expression of remorse was true remorse. He did not spare himself. He did not excuse him. He did not explain himself. He accepted the grace that comes from accepting the knowledge of his crimes.
As I read Edward Flannery’s conclusion in his own response to Wiesenthal's question, I could not help but identify completely with his words. I take Flannery’s words here now and embrace them wholly as my own.
“ . . .I would have – I do hope – forgiven him and, as an obstinate believer, suggested to him that he make his peace with God by asking for His forgiveness, and, taking full advantage of the situation, uttered a prayer for the repose of his soul and those of the victims of his inhuman behavior."
And what of Karl’s plea for forgiveness? Simon, by hearing his plea, was led on a lifelong quest regarding God’s expectations of us. Karl, as an instrument of evil, was given a penance commensurate with his crime. He suffered tremendously. His suffering was not just physical. He suffered in conscience. He suffered the loss of the one thing that would have given him comfort and consolation: the nearness of his beloved mother.
But even here I see the hand of God at work. By not having the comfort of his mother, he was left truly alone with his thoughts. We cannot judge the quality and value of Karl’s remorse. We can only know that by his punishment he was led to reflect on his actions, arrive at deep remorse and then beg for forgiveness.
The object of his quest , a Jew, should not be judged either. He had nothing else to lose. His life was at an end. His confession and expression of remorse was true remorse. He did not spare himself. He did not excuse him. He did not explain himself. He accepted the grace that comes from accepting the knowledge of his crimes.
As I read Edward Flannery’s conclusion in his own response to Wiesenthal's question, I could not help but identify completely with his words. I take Flannery’s words here now and embrace them wholly as my own.
“ . . .I would have – I do hope – forgiven him and, as an obstinate believer, suggested to him that he make his peace with God by asking for His forgiveness, and, taking full advantage of the situation, uttered a prayer for the repose of his soul and those of the victims of his inhuman behavior."
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12 comments:
A very deep post. I believe in forgiveness, but I also believe in not allowing ourselves (or someone we love) to be hurt again!
Oh, Annie- what a very thoughtful and reverent post. Forgiveness may be one of the hardest things we ever do in our lives and yet the most healing as well.
I honestly don't know what I would answer to this very deep question- I know what I would hope to do, what I would aspire to...
And I think one can only forgive another for wrongs done to one's self... not in a collective way.
Thank you for this very touching and profound post, Annie...
:)
What a marvellous and rich post, Annie! Forgiveness. Large subject, but one that I've had to ponder many, many times in my little life.
I believe that one forgives to live, that one forgives because the alternative is unthinkable.
Today is Nelson Mandela's birthday. He's one of my heroes. 27 years in prison (culprit for the colour of his skin), destroyed family life, centuries of oppression on his people in their own land, and he comes out wielding a fist and preaching forgiveness and reconciliation.
BTW, I have written a poem for him over at my place: Troublemaker.
Your post is deep, appropriate and necessary. I hope lots of people get to read it. We need posts like this one.
Wonderfully insightful, Annie. Forgiveness is a hard one, but it is something we must do if we are to be free. Thanks for writing this.
Today I'm such a black and white believer and tomorrow that may not be the case. I do believe that forgivness leads to freedom. Sooner or later, I do believe that either we do a thing or we don't. Still you can never slice an orange so thin that it doesn't have two sides. What would you do?
Forgiveness is a tough one, but it's so important - to allow people to move on, rather than be haunted forever by certain actions. Very interesting post, Annie. xo
The place of time in the experience of forgiveness is an important consideration, Annie. Thanks for helping me spend time with the concept of time. Your post makes me think of the importance of time in any relationship--to build trust and understanding. Thanks.
This is an exceptional post of thoughts and comments that are important to all of us. I agree, the book is thought provoking and deeply speaks to areas that are often not spoken of. Thank you for writing this.
Annie, this obviously comes straight from your soul. It's a beautiful reflection on the power of forgiveness, a concept I have struggled with myself in a big way. Thank you for sharing your thoughts...
That was a great post Annie. I too have had to deal with forgiveness for someone who has hurt me so much. But I have forgiven him and now I am there for him when he needs me so I know in my heart that I have truly forgiven him. Thank you posting that, I needed it today! Oh, and I Love what you did too your birdie cabinet. Also love the pic of you and Quanah.
xoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxo
Beautiful post Ms. Annie! Very powerful and directly from your soul. Forgiveness ...I think we should all have forgiveness in our hearts ...for someday you may be the one who needs to be forgiven! We are all only humans with all our flaws ...we all need forgiveness from time to time!
Beautifully put.
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